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Monthly Archives: July 2010

Anger

“The art, beyond insolence, of the Black girl’s face as she cuts her elegant sidelong glance at me. What makes her eyes slide off of mine? What does she see that angers her so, or infuriates her, or disgusts her? Why do I want to break her face off when her eyes do not meet mine? Why does she wear my sister’s face? My daughter’s mouth turned down about to suck itself in? The eyes of a furious and rejected lover? Why do I dream I cradle you at night? Divide your limbs between the food bowls of my least favorite animals? Keep vigil for you night after terrible night, wondering? Oh sister, where is that dark rich land we wanted to wander through?”

“I loved you. I dreamed about you. I talked to you for hours in my sleep sitting under a silk-cotton tree our arms around each other or braiding each other’s hair or oiling each other’s backs, and every time I run into you on the street or at the post office or behind the Medicaid desk I want to wring your neck.”  For some reason these struck out to me. Simply because I’ve been on the receiving and giving end. Sadly all to common

-Audre Lorde “Sister Outsider” Eye to Eye

 
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Posted by on July 17, 2010 in coming of age

 

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Handcuffing 6 year olds?

http://www.theroot.com/views/nola-child-handcuffs

The headline read “Handcuffing 6 yr olds in New Orleans? Seriously?”  I’m thinking, headcuffing 6 year olds in New Orleans? So what 

  I wish I could have handcuffed some of those bad ass kids in my classroom, while I was teaching. Oops, did I just say/write that. Um, yes I did.  After reading that load of crap story, I’m thinking their actually handcuffing the wrong person. How bout handcuffing Ja’Briel’s parents and tying them to a post,  because of their ignorance and lack of parenting skills. Idiots. How about getting one of those paddles and bending their asses over and giving them a good ole ‘old school whoupin’.  I’m sure this is not the first time little Ja’Briel has been disobedient or aggressive to his classmates and maybe even the teacher. I’m sure the school has even contacted the parents concerning his behavior. Trust me,  these parents know these kids are acting a fool. And I’m pretty sure that the teachers and students are fed up and frustrated that class has to be continually interrupted from having to deal with Ja’Briels’  bad ass. While teaching preschoolers and coordinating afterschool programs for ‘at risk’ children, I know what these teachers are going through and what these children are going through.

My experience has been rewarding to plan out frustrating. Rewarding when I see my preschoolers exhibiting behaviors and rules I’ve taught them. Or exposing them to ideas and activities, or food, animals, nature, …things they’ve never experienced and seeing their eyes light up.

Then…

there’s the Ja’Briels. Who ruin it for everyone, so now we can’t attend that waterpark anymore. So now the kids cant do that special project in the afternoon because ‘Ja’Briel’ destroyed it during one of his/her tantrums.  Now I have Paul, Jason, and Susan mimicking ‘Ja’Briels’ behavior, now thats more children we have to deal with. Or because the lack of parenting skills I have to deal with 5 and 6 years spitting in my face, punching me in my legs and my head, destroying my personal and the classrooms items and toys. Or I have to deal with eye level 12 year olds cussing me out, throwing chairs across the room, beating up other children, raising their hands to me 

  I have to put myself in awkward and controversial situations where I have to sit there and  physically restrain kids for 30 mins to an hour.  Knowing that if a parent or Licensing walks in, my ass would be out of there so quick, but nobody see’s or cares what just took place prior. The  fact that these ‘Ja’Briels’ just punched another kid in his mouth and threw a toy at the head of my teacher assistant. That’s why bad ass ‘Ja’Briel’ is neatly folded in a bear hug between my legs while I try to multitask and calmly get the other 20 preschoolers to take their naps    So now instead of having teachers meetings and parent/teacher conferences about future fieldtrips and activites, and what new ideas and projects we should implement in our lesson plans,  Now these meetings are simply filled with how do we keep the ‘Ja’Briels’ in check. How many times can we call and send letters to parents when no one’s responding and they shrug and don’t give a damn once you tell them of  ‘Ja’Briels’ behavior.  Uggghhh….frustrating.

So yeah when I saw that headline, I’m like so what. Handcuff is ass and the parents. Parents, be Parents. Give a damn when your child acts a fool in class. He/she is calling for help. He wants your attention, your love. Some damn discipline. Yes. Children WANT and NEED discipline. Teachers can only do so much.  *sigh* idk, ill just leave it like that

 
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Posted by on July 11, 2010 in coming of age, dear diary

 

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