Monthly Archives: January 2011

Lesbo App part 2

Cont. from Lesbo App…

In the Jan/Feb Curve magazine issue there was an interesting article “A Kosher Connection” by Merryn Johns regarding lesbian relationships and Dr. Frankie Bashans matchmaking services ( A question was asked, “What’s the biggest obstacle to finding love?”  Dr. Bashans response:

Ourselves! People have to be willing to step out of their comfort zones.We’re creatures of habit and tend to repeat unsuccessful patterns throughout our lives. People’s expectations are often unrealistic. As a culture, we’re fixated on appearance and sometimes set up barriers to getting to know someone who may be an excellent match because they have one feature or trait that you consider unacceptable.”

I love this. She hit it right on the nail. I think it takes alot of maturity and experience to mentally get out of that “my type” mind frame. It’s one thing to have a preference. But to set them so narrow and superficial…your missing out on so many potential soul/love mates.

We’ve all had or have specific ‘qualifications’ that we want our partner to possess. When I was younger I had this thing about black women. Meaning they had to be ‘black’, as in dark. The blacker, the better. Yeah I had a color complex. When down the road after meeting and dating my last wonderful and beautiful girlfriend who was very light complected  and telling her about my ‘preferences’, the conversation resulted in tears (on her part) and a long heavy discussion about complexion, race, and social standards. Let’s just say, if we owned at couch back then, I would have been sleeping on it.

I went through my ‘big black woman’ phase. The bigger the better. The ‘ONLY black women’ phase. Any other race need not apply. Don’t even look in this direction. The ‘you have to have shoulder length dreds’ phase. Why? Cus it’s hot. The ‘you have to be able to seamlessly switch from stud to femme characteristics , with  minimal makeup,  laid back but outgoing, like alternative music, but not hard rock, be able to dance and playing an musical instrument is always a plus, college educated, have cute full lips, long eyes lashes, have a little hood in them, but not ghetto, oh and must love cocker spaniel poodles’ phase. *sigh*

Now that I’ve matured and looked back at those ridiculous guidelines, I realize that when my relationships were good, I mean real good, it had nothing to do with the fact that she had dark skin or dreds. And when shit was bad, real bad, it had absolutely nothing to do with taste in music or physical features. But everything to do with that thing called your frontal lobe. Your soul and energy. Your tempermant. Morality.

To get back to the point of which Dr. Bashan was making, is simply that our preferences just may be blocking us from our soul mates.

I simply laugh and shrug when I hear younger folks talk about how they want someone with long hair or that wears Jordans. But to hear grown ass women have these same converstions, just makes me cringe. I assume they still have alot of maturing to do, as we all do 🙂

With all this being said, yes I still have certain preferences:  🙂  Must have a beautiful vibe/energy. Spiritual awareness. Able to have a perspective/view point on a wide range of topics. Healthy awareness of your body and mind. Confidence. So sexy. Oh and you must love cocker spaniel poodles:)

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Posted by on January 18, 2011 in Lesbo stuff


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This Is How We Do It

I first stumbled along D. Alexandria on, years ago. She also went under the pen name Glitter. Even back then her short stories always stood out to me. They simply struck a lovely cord. This had to be sometime in 2000 in my mother’s house with my mouse hovering over the minimize botton just in case an unexpected guest came storming through my room.  When living in a small closeted, homophobic town, was a nice lesbo escape from reality. She later created her own small website, which she had a compilation of several of her short stories. Alexandria also stated on the site, that she was in the process of writing her own book/novel.
Now I have to say, when ever an artist or author states that they will be writing their own book in the future, you expect that timeline to be anywhere from a couple months to several years. And everyone knows somebody working on that great novel/ manuscript/album, what have you. So I kept my fingers crossed and hoped that I wouldn’t be in my grave by the time D. Alexandria got published. And low and behold, here she is with \”This Is How We Do It\” And I love it. She has 13 short stories compiled. About 3 of them are older stories that she wrote and had published several years ago. She starts slightly vanilla with “When She’s Mad,” and “Shhh.” Which when you think about it, is expected. I mean you don’t want to scare your readers with a big dose of BDSM on the first page. “Fantasy Alley” and “The Jewel of Storyville” are sexy and imaginative.
The book is composed of intros and interludes, with interludes 1-3 actually expressing more of the erotic side D. Alexandria. “Butches Don’t” is especially hot. Without giving to much away, we all know what butches ‘don’t’ do. And the taboo created around this is a lovely turn on. “Property” is a  romantic love tale, in which I mean in a sadistic, erotic way of course.
I love the way every story had a different sexual theme. Not every short story was based on BDSM. Some were simply kinky, like “Prey” and “Tag!” Others were simply considered taboo, like “Shhh” and “Butches Don’t”. Some were overwhelmingly sadomaso, like the obviously titled “Pain Slut” and “Penance”. With any short story collection your always left wanting more. Some shorts are meant to be just that. Other’s like “Property” and “Butches Don’t” leave you wanting an actual 295 page novel of the background and future happenings of these characters.
Anyways D. Alexandria’s “This Is How We do It” was definitley worth waiting for. And congrats on publishing her first book and hopefully this is only the beginning.


Posted by on January 15, 2011 in Lesbo stuff


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Technically a Taurus…

According to…well…the universe and also while watching Rachel Maddow, when last night she reported how the earth axis is shifting. So therefore, technically I’m a Taurus. Hm, just doesnt suit me. And actually when you think about it, as long as you were born on that specific zodiac sign, it doesnt actaully change. Wouldnt this only affect people who are born this year at the beginning of the axis tilt? Just saying. Plus no way I’m becoming a Taurus.

~~Ride or Die Gemini

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Posted by on January 15, 2011 in dear diary