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Breaking up is hard to do

27 Mar

heartbroken

….And it gets even more awkward when you not in a relationship. What happens when its simply your friend. I think we’ve all been through it. Especially as an adult you simply grow out of those good friends you had in highschool or college. Neither of you have done anything wrong. It’s simply a situation where two people are just on two different paths. Last night a light bulb went off while having drinks and pasta with a friend. It simply hit me.

I no longer have any interest in this friendship.

If we never saw each other again, I probably wouldnt even bat an eye.

As we waited for our table, myself sitting on one of the benches, Sha Sha* (that’s what I’ll call her) leaning against the wall, aside from the endless chit chatter amongst all the guest, you could literally hear a pin drop. I began creating a list in my head of ‘things to talk to Sha Sha about’. But nothing seemed to come to mind. Any type of small talk simply fizzled out. I occupied myself  with people watching and she played on her cell phone.

I’m not a vain or bougie person, however, last night  it caught me off guard when I saw her in ‘roach killer’  man sandals (raggedy or less than attractive shoes), with long basketball shorts and tee. Also when she commented on CheeseCake Factory being an upscale restaurant? Note: anything with Factory at the end, is not upscale. (However, dress appropriately).When she said loudly how she’s never seen so many forks sitting on a table at once. When she  became utterly confused with the menu and the fact that it had ‘so many things to chose from’. When she sat her cell phone on the table, so she can watch the game?

*sigh*

After the ‘how’s it beens’ and ‘what’s new with yous’, I began to mentally go through my ShaSha list of converstations. I spoke on my midwife conference and the workshops I would be taking. *blank stare and half smile* I spoke on the new birth of my nephew and my sisters hospital adventures *stare and nod* My discovery of this cupcake shop called Sprinkles *blinked twice, stare* Workplace woes *”Oh for real.” another nod* My familys arrival for my Bday *”thats coo” blink, stare*

 

Can I get some feedback please?

Her turn:

Basically stories that she’s told me ten times already. And four word sentences about her girlfriend, work, and future vacation.

She quickly called it a night because she said she was tired and waking up tomorrow for a flight. Which is fine and understandable. When I finally arrived home, I felt like I completely wasted a night. What was the point of that? It all just felt weird. I am definitly growing out of ShaSha. There’s absolutly no connection between us. It’s like this weird estranged relationship.  It reminds me of the relationship with my Dad. His number is in my phone because…he’s my dad. I call him out of obligation. Not for conversation. I file about 4 ‘things to talk to daddy about list’ in my head. When those run out I wrap it up and hang up the phone. And honestly I think he does the same. But this is something I HAVE to do. Cuz he’s my pa. And its not as bad as it sounds. 

ShaSha has been on my mind for several months now. Along with previous and similiar situations. This isnt about her dress code or manners. But simply, we dont have anything in common anymore. And this whole estranged relationship with her? I just wanna give her daps, wish her luck in life, and simply go our seperate ways. I know good friends are hard to find. But if your hardly that, then what’s the point?

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Posted by on March 27, 2011 in coming of age, dear diary

 

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