16 Jun

Exactly one more week until I leave for mpls. Will it be everything I expected and more?

Something that really stuck to me. I mentioned to my mom about bringing something back from mpls for her, souvenirs, etc. She stated, “No child, as long as you just come back home, that’s all.”

Hm. And what if I don’t. I absolutely do not consider this place to be my home. Cali is home, of course but I honestly have no interest in moving there. Unless I land some amazing job offer. This place….No. I moved here first off to be near family. Now that I have spent two and half years here, I’m just not feeling it. This is not my home. This is my sister’s home.

It’s interesting because family is so worried about distance, but I honestly still see them just as frequently as when I lived in mpls. At least 2wice a year. Last year I think it could have been 3 because we planned a family trip outside of the holidays. Does it just ‘feel’ better or easier when I’m just 8 hours away and see you 2 times a year. Opposed to thousands of miles away and I still see you 2 times a year.

I usually do what the hell I want. I don’t have any obligations to anyone. Why does this feel so hard.

Basically, what if it happens. That second chance at love. uggghh this sounds soo lame…but that’s what I’m nervous about. That rekindling of sorts. That ‘why did I ever let you go’ feeling. That you just know…

Am I ready now?…Am I being too premature? Taking this way out of context. It’s a fucking pride weekend. See old friends. Have fun. Act a fool. Not fall in love.

Why do I have a funny feeling….

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Posted by on June 16, 2011 in Uncategorized


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