found this draft in my blackberry, clearly I forgot all about it…whatevaaaa
Relax. Just find what your looking for and get out. Quickly. Yuri rarely broke out of her daily routines. It was Saturday morning and she was starting the day with her usual hot shower. In about 60 seconds the air would start to fill up with the aroma of eucalyptus oil. I shook my head. So predictable. She would probably be in there for about 20 to 30 minutes, especially if she was washing her locs. And this being a Saturday, I knew she would take the time to sit and relax and twist her hair.
I bent down on my knees and presumed too look through her drawers of her desk when BAM!
It was the sound of the sliding glass door of the shower. By body naturally froze as my brain went through all the excuses I could possibly tell her.
I thought I left something in your room? (Wrong, I was never allowed in her room)
I wanted to surprise you with breakfast? (Well in that case what the hell were you doing on the floor?)
I thought I heard you call my name?
(So therefore you duck behind my desk)
Just admit Jaymese your ass is grass. I felt my fear turn to worry, then to disappointment. My brain reaching back to my 5th grade teacher, Ms. Cloud. She thought the world of me. I was the good student. The obedient one. I turned in my homework on time. I didn’t talk back. And I was sweet and polite. The model student. At least that’s what I wanted Ms. Cloud to think. Especially since I began a weekly habit of stealing loose change and dollar bills out of her purse that was apparently ‘hidden’ in her desk drawer.
“I’ll stay and clean up the rest of the art project Ms. Cloud.” I said, with as much sweetness as I could muster. She just smiled and patted my head as she left me alone in the classroom to do my ‘good deeds’.
When I assumed the coast was clear I quickly went behind the desk and right into her purse to see what goodies I would find. A dollar bill here, a couple jolly ranchers there. Nice. As I became occupied, I suddenly heard the classroom door slam shut and my 5th grade world came crashing down. It wasn’t the fear of potentially being sent to jail that had me frozen in place, it was surprisingly the disappointment that I would see in Ms. Cloud’s eyes as she saw her star student robbing her blind. The disappointment in myself that I had some how let her down. But as I sat there with my hand still wrapped around a now sweaty piece of jolly rancher, I realized no one was in the classroom. It had either been the wind or someone just shutting the door. The false alarm didn’t scare me enough to put my findings back into her purse. I simply tucked them in my pockets and made a mental note to check my surroundings first, than make a dash to her purse.
The glass door slid back shut. I loudly exhaled. How long had I been holding my breath? Forget it. This doesn’t feel right. I rose up and headed for the bedroom door.
Well,neither does Eric’s death.
I chewed on my bottom lip and glanced at her alarm clock. Five minutes had slipped by. I possibly had at least 10 full minutes to get in and get out. The 5th grader in me regained her confidence and turned back around to finish what I came for.
Yuri had a pair of stacked metal file cabinets that needed keys to open them. I gave them a quick pull anyway.
Locked, of course.
I then pulled out drawers attached to her desk that were open, but with nothing of significance in them. Pens, pencils, paper clips, calculator. Nothing.
The files on top of her desk were important, but might as well have been in another language. Just long excel sheets with numbers and calculations, and random summaries. Meaningless.
I knew where I would find what I was looking for.
Her desktop. Her phone. But I wasn’t stupid. And neither was she. Okay, so what now.
Her briefcase. Of course. I glanced at the clock. About 4 more minutes. I was wasting time. Come on Jaymese. I gave her room a quick scan. Where the hell did she keep her damn briefcase? It should have been amongst her other business files by her desk. I got further down onto my knees and peeked under her bed. Jackpot. For a minute I assumed her briefcase would be locked, along with combination codes and all. But it had a simple zipper that was actually half zipped. Perfect. I gently but quickly picked through files and glanced at random notes. Dates. I need something with a date on it. Proof that she was actually where she said she was. I flipped to the back of her briefcase and plunged my hand into one of the horizontal pockets. My hand fingered what felt like a some sort of receipt. I pulled it out and my eyes grew wide. It was her air flight ticket stubs to and from D.C. Smiling with a sense of relief, I clung to the stub as if I had found a golden ticket.
“You find what you were looking for?”
Her voice cut through the silence like thunder. I could my feel my face flush with intense shame and that oh so familiarity of disappointment.