I’ve been putting off working out for like a week now. Not even yoga. Since I found this weird bump at the base of my skull, slightly behind my ear, I’ve been completely freaked out. It almost feels like this pea sized bulging vein.
Worst case scenario, I’m on my elliptical machine, going at a steady jog as I slowly progess into full blown sprint mode. My heart begans to race and the usual sweat starts to drip down the small of my back and
My vein explodes, leaking blood and toxins into my brain. I collaspe as my lifeless body flops and does a sumersault off the treadmill at lightning speed. Crumpled on the filthy gym floor succuming to a sudden and devastating death.
Yeah, sooo I havnt been exercising lately. I did go to my physician to have it checked on, but apparently I’m hallucinating because for the life of my dr. she swears she couldnt find anything. She also thought I was speaking about my glands. Nope. Im fully aware of all my glands and where they’re located. This is not one of them. Perhaps if I talk ‘big’ she will realize I’m not a complete moron.
Me: Its right above the border of my occiptal ridge, proximal to my ear. There.
Her heavy handed man hands clumsily felt along the back of my neck for the mysterious bump. Im sorry, but I’m just not feeling anything.
Me: Um. What do you mean?
dr: Well here let me feel your glands. Neck glands. Armpit glands. Pelvic area glands.
dr: Well those seem to be fine. Okay, let me try your neck again. Now put your finger right where you think it is.
Where I think it is?
Her hooves clawed around my neck once more.
Me: It’s right there. Where my finger is. Nope. Press down a little more. Okay little higher. No, little lower. Wait. Now move your finger slowly from side to side. Okay. Stop. Do you feel it now?
dr: No. I’m sorry I just cant feel anything. You know, how about I prescribe so Ibuprohin…
Prescribe some advil? Never heard of such a thing.
dr: …and I suppose I can take some blood, just to make sure your blood count is fine. Well okay, hope you feel better.
With that she’s gone.
Did I waste a $25 co-pay. Not that I wanted anything to be wrong. But I least I wanted some answers. Other than advil. I know what my body feels like and what’s supposed to be there and what isnt. I’m really hands on when it comes to my body. As I guess we all should be. I usually jump out the shower and dry off in front of a full length mirror. I put lotion on while sitting or standing in front of a full length mirror. My hands are always in my head and scalp massaging oils, making twisties. I do breast exams or simply massage my breast, thighs, ass, b/c well it’s my body. And why not. I know very cleary what I look like down there and behind there. My body is not a mystery to me.*
But apparently I’m fine according to my dr. It’s either my imagination or my tendons. Whatever. Oh and I will be going down to CVS and picking up my ‘free’ prescription of advil. Why not. Well back to my daily yoga, weights, and treadmill. Hopefully nothing will be ‘popping’ and my blood works comes out fine and perhaps it’s just a harmless nodule that’s always been there. I’ll just keep an eye on it. Oh how I’ve missed my workouts 🙂
*ive had countless experinces where i’d make a comment on someone’s birthmark/scar/spot/lump, what have you and that person appears shocked that its even there. Responses that ive gotten “oh i dont look at my body” “Im scared of what I might find” “idk, its been there for a couple of months now” “ew gross, Im not touching myself…down there”
Whatever. To each it’s own